Milwaukee's Official Reviewers

Jennifer Aniston Doesn’t Want Your Semen

Jennifer Aniston Doesn’t Want Your Semen

Sep 1, 2010

The Switch stars Jennifer Aniston and a harmless Jason Bateman. This is a supposedly warm story told from the narration of Wally (Bateman) whose best friend Kassie (Aniston) wants a baby and throws a party for the whole sperm donation affair. Much to Wally’s chagrin he isn’t considered a viable candidate and subsequently gets wasted and spills the...

Marmaduke en Español

Marmaduke en Español

Aug 30, 2010

Tijuana, Mexico. The Federales were hot on my trail as I ducked into the movie theater. It was only when my eyes adjusted to the darkness that I felt the icy cold hands of fear around my throat as Marmaduke dubbed in Spanish with no subtitles loomed ominously above on the silver screen. And in short, I was afraid. The story of my exile is not for the faint...

Piranha 3D

Piranha 3D

Aug 21, 2010

Piranha 3D is as simplistic as its title. Most times, that’s part of the charm, but while this film enlists Richard Dreyfuss, Ving Rhames, Christopher Lloyd, Jerry O’Connell and Elisabeth Shue, there is absolutely nothing about the film less complex or compulsory than its story. It is Spring Break in a tiny beach town and Lake Victoria is packed with...

the Expendables

the Expendables

Aug 14, 2010

The Expendables is a spectacular summer action movie, a testosterone-fueled shoot em’ up of magnanimous proportions. The long awaited flick, with its bolstering niche cast, hits the screen with every ounce of promised explosivity. Barney Ross (Stallone) and crew are charged with overthrowing one General Gaza, a seemingly ruthless dictator being funded by...

Lebanon

Lebanon

Aug 11, 2010

Written and directed by Samuel Moaz, Lebanon is a short war-story rife with uncertainties. As an ex-tanker himself, Moaz’s concise detailing of the experience is one that comes across as a claustrophobic exercise in the human / war-time condition. In June of 1982 Israel invaded Lebanon. The film begins the morning of the invasion. 3 young men welcome a...

Ip Man

Ip Man

Aug 10, 2010

Ip Man is the latest martial arts epic to kick and punch its way onto Blu-Ray this year. Starring Donnie Yen (Dragon Inn, Iron Monkey, Hero) as the titular Wing Chun Grandmaster and early mentor of the legendary Bruce Lee, Ip Man delivers an action packed semi-biographical account of Master Ip’s early life in the Fo Shan province during Japan’s...

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